HOW TO PLAY HARD TO GET

Playing hard to get is a concept we are all familiar with and that many of us have either been on the receiving end of or at least tried ourselves. The main concept behind it is simple. That you make yourself appear unavailable or unobtainable by playing 'hard to get' in order to make them want you. This works based on the old adage that we all want what we can not have and the hope is that it will follow that if we can not have a person then we will suddenly want them. At the same time this is sometimes partly a test to see if the person really wants us (when we have several suitors to choose from it is a good way to see who's really keen and to whittle the number down) and to appear less 'easy' which is a concern for some women. Perhaps for this last reason, as well as the fact that men are generally the pursuers, it is more normal for the women to play hard to get than the men however this need not necessarily always be the case and the same principles can just as easily apply for guys.

1. PITFALLS TO AVOID: Of course there is a risk with playing hard to get and you are certainly playing with fire. If someone feels that they are not getting anywhere pursuing you and that it is thus pointless, then they might very well become dejected and give up. At the same time, playing hard to get can sometimes been seen as 'playing games' and this can sometimes be a turn off for potential partners who think it is a sign that they will be looking forward to a complicated and unpleasant relationship if you are already playing games. Many people do not have the self esteem to pursue someone who does not immediately seem interested and if someone more readily available comes along this can backfire quite tremendously.

2. HOW TO PLAY HARD TO GET: The main secret to successfully playing hard to get though is timing and careful use. The hard to get act is not suitable for every scenario and you need to know when and how to use it to maximum effect. First of all, you need to make sure that you know the person at least slightly well and are in regular contact. If you are not in contact then you can not play hard to get as they will notice any change. Likewise they have to have some kind of initial interest or spark with you and really playing hard to get works best if they are already pursuing you. You need to get the interest of the person first, likely by flirting and demonstrating that you might be interested in them before taking that away in order to get them wanting it back. In fact the best way to use this technique is to flood them with attention to the point where they are used to it and develop an interest romantically even if they did not have one before and then to take this away from them so that they notice the void and want to fill it.

A. PHASE 1: Flood them with attention that means flirting, laughing at all their jokes, and if appropriate spending lots of time with them to go around and watch DVDs.

B. PHASE 2: In phase two you then need to suddenly become more aloof but it is important to do so while sending out the right messages. What you do not want them to think is that you have become genuinely uninterested in them and that they do not have a chance. At the same time you do not want them to think you are playing games and get highly annoyed at you.

Instead what you want to create the impression of is that you have a busy and active lifestyle and so just do not have that much time for someone who is not your boyfriend or girlfriend which will make you seem attractive and that you have become annoyed at the other person for not making a move during phase one. Legitimately they would have had the opportunity at this point to make a move so you are within your rights to have this 'backlash'.

To create this image do not become too cold but instead just stop flooding them with flattery and attention. Answer texts more slowly, make sure they know you are out doing lots of things, make them work for you to laugh at their jokes and lastly make sure you are seen talking to other guys or other girls as nothing motivates someone quite like jealousy. Again though make it seem harmless rather than coming across as a little flirt or they will think you were just flirting with them. Just normal talking should be enough to get them frustrated.

There are other factors you need to consider for your playing hard to get to go well. First of all you need to choose the person you do it with first. You also need to make sure that at some point you set up a scenario where this can end and where you can capitalize on your hard work. Make sure that you go out for drinks or have them round to watch a film and this will hopefully give them the opportunity to end the distance by making a move.

GREAT DAY..MWAAAAH.