We often place so much emphasis on getting into a relationship and then keeping that partner, that we neglect the importance of actually ensuring that relationship is the one we want. We can often dream of dating someone who has caught our attention, but the reality of dating them is not always what we expected or hoped for. In these scenarios it can be disappointing and disheartening, but it is possible to get the relationship you want and this should be really where we direct our energies rather than simply getting 'a' relationship and keeping it with little concern for quality.
1. DECIDE ON WHAT RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT: Of course it is hard to get the relationship you want unless you are completely sure of what that entails, and in order to be truly happy you really need to make sure that you know what it is that makes you happy. At the same time make sure that the relationship you want is also the relationship you need and that it is healthy for you. You might want to date a romantic poet who lives for their art but will this support your family? You might want a super model, but is that not perhaps a bit shallow? Is it realistic? Take some time out to really think about what you need, and then you will stand a better chance of finding it and recognizing it when you do.
2. LAY DOWN THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT: In order to be happy you need your partner to understand what it is you are looking for in a relationship. Do not try to change them, but tell them what you need from your relationships and then they will decide whether they can provide it. Yes it is scary and an unpleasant conversation, but you will benefit from it. Without it you will continue having the relationship you do not want. After having the discussion you may find it makes more trouble and even ends your relationship, but if it goes well it will give you a greater chance of having a better relationship.
3. DO NOT RUSH INTO THE RELATIONSHIP: When you find someone you are interested, do not launch straight into a full blown relationship but take some time to date them and to get to know them. Show them who you are and build a trust and understanding before you become an item. At the same time it is important to spend some time single in between relationships. This way you avoid starting a relationship that is in fact just a 'rebound', and at the same time you get to really learn to know yourself and your needs and this can help you to find a truly compatible partner.
4. TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED: It is an age old adage that you should do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. But this is tactical as well as ethical as generally people will react to you the way you react to them. Start massaging them in the evenings, and you can be sure that you will get massages back.
5. BE GENEROUS: Of course this does not mean just doing things you want done back, and often the things you want are different from the things you partner wants. But the more you go out of your way to do things for them, the more they will try and do the things you ask them to.
6. MAKE COMPROMISES: It is possible to get the relationship you want or a very close approximation of it, but at the same time it is very unlikely to be perfect unless they want the exact same relationship. Be flexible and be happy to occasionally meet half way on the things that are not quite as important.
7. PUT TIME ON THE RELATIONSHIP: You can not expect your relationship to just work on its own. You need to put time and effort in. Ensure that you are spending a good amount of time with your partner and taking time out to do things together as a couple.
8. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE: Sometimes no matter how hard you try it can become apparent that you are not going to make your current relationship into the one you really want. If it is really not working and you want different things, then you should not settle and nor should you draw out the disappointment. In some cases it is better for both of you to cut ties and to try again.
- See more at: http://jksoulmate.com/readstory.php?page=409#sthash.8aXUJ9bl.dpuf1. DECIDE ON WHAT RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT: Of course it is hard to get the relationship you want unless you are completely sure of what that entails, and in order to be truly happy you really need to make sure that you know what it is that makes you happy. At the same time make sure that the relationship you want is also the relationship you need and that it is healthy for you. You might want to date a romantic poet who lives for their art but will this support your family? You might want a super model, but is that not perhaps a bit shallow? Is it realistic? Take some time out to really think about what you need, and then you will stand a better chance of finding it and recognizing it when you do.
2. LAY DOWN THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT: In order to be happy you need your partner to understand what it is you are looking for in a relationship. Do not try to change them, but tell them what you need from your relationships and then they will decide whether they can provide it. Yes it is scary and an unpleasant conversation, but you will benefit from it. Without it you will continue having the relationship you do not want. After having the discussion you may find it makes more trouble and even ends your relationship, but if it goes well it will give you a greater chance of having a better relationship.
3. DO NOT RUSH INTO THE RELATIONSHIP: When you find someone you are interested, do not launch straight into a full blown relationship but take some time to date them and to get to know them. Show them who you are and build a trust and understanding before you become an item. At the same time it is important to spend some time single in between relationships. This way you avoid starting a relationship that is in fact just a 'rebound', and at the same time you get to really learn to know yourself and your needs and this can help you to find a truly compatible partner.
4. TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED: It is an age old adage that you should do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. But this is tactical as well as ethical as generally people will react to you the way you react to them. Start massaging them in the evenings, and you can be sure that you will get massages back.
5. BE GENEROUS: Of course this does not mean just doing things you want done back, and often the things you want are different from the things you partner wants. But the more you go out of your way to do things for them, the more they will try and do the things you ask them to.
6. MAKE COMPROMISES: It is possible to get the relationship you want or a very close approximation of it, but at the same time it is very unlikely to be perfect unless they want the exact same relationship. Be flexible and be happy to occasionally meet half way on the things that are not quite as important.
7. PUT TIME ON THE RELATIONSHIP: You can not expect your relationship to just work on its own. You need to put time and effort in. Ensure that you are spending a good amount of time with your partner and taking time out to do things together as a couple.
8. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE: Sometimes no matter how hard you try it can become apparent that you are not going to make your current relationship into the one you really want. If it is really not working and you want different things, then you should not settle and nor should you draw out the disappointment. In some cases it is better for both of you to cut ties and to try again.
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